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Someone asked me how to deal with alopecia in one of my Instagram polls. I did not know how to answer this. It is not an easy task and it is not really describable within an Instagram story or even an Instagram post. So, I decided to write a blog post.
I have been thinking and thinking and thinking. I still do not have a straight answer to how to deal with alopecia and I think that is logical. If there is one thing that I learned while having alopecia, it is that there is not one answer. There is not one road to take and there is not one way to deal with something like hair loss. Everyone is different. Everyone has a different past, different background, different environment and most of all, different feelings. All of this contributes to how to deal with alopecia.
For one person it might be relatively easy to deal with it. For someone else it might be the most difficult thing they have ever dealt with. I think it is so important to remember to not try and stick to one way of dealing with alopecia. I think it is important to find your way to deal with alopecia.
Some of you might have read this in another blog post, some of you may read my blog for the first time. So, I will take you back to my childhood. As a kid, I always had tons of hair. Thick, brown hair, that I had to tie with 2 hair elastics if I wanted the ponytail to stay put. Hair that everyone complimented and the thing I saw as one of my best characteristics. However, having this hair did not make me feel better about myself. I have never been particularly happy with myself or with my looks. I never looked in the mirror without any make-up on etc. and thought “wow I look great!”. I was insecure and I told myself that I looked great, but none of it was true in my eyes and the people around me probably noticed that as well.
But Anne, how is this related to dealing with alopecia, you may ask yourself? Well, this little bit of information about me plays a huge role in dealing with my alopecia! As I said before, I believe it all depends on yourself and your past etc.
Because I never looked at myself like I was beautiful, because I never looked at myself with confidence and because I was never proud of myself, I did not lose a lot of confidence nor self-love when losing my hair. There was never much to begin with! I wore lots of make-up and told myself I was beautiful, but I never truly believed it. Of course, I was angry and frustrated that I lost my hair, I finally felt like I belonged, but the fact that my self-love was quite non-existent made a big difference.
Losing my hair forced me to look at myself differently. I did not specifically have the looks anymore to be “popular” (= something that I do not even desire anymore, but back then I thought it was the only way to not be shut out again), I did not really recognize the reflection in the mirror, and I had to think about the person I wanted to be. It helped me to find the beauty within myself and to be proud of myself, of which I am very grateful.
When reflecting back, I realised I was not behaving as I wanted to, and I was trying to be someone I did not want to be. Alopecia has actually helped me to become better and keeps reminding me I need to be better and fix mistakes.
So, how did I deal with alopecia? For me it just kind of happened. It just became a part of me when I needed to look at myself again and to try and figure out who I am and want to be. But dealing with alopecia is a constant process and I still deal with it every day. Sometimes I deal with it by embracing the bald, sometimes I deal with it by wearing my wig and sometimes I deal with it by writing down and or sharing my feelings with others.
Dealing with my hair loss gives me a feeling of freedom. It feels like I can take control back by deciding whether or not I want to wear wigs, go bald or wear turbans. But dealing with hair loss can also feel like you are trapped and do not know how to continue. However, I believe it will always work out and that you got this! Accepting alopecia is also accepting its ups and downs.
It is important to find out what works for you. Trial and error, ups and downs, but you got this! Wear wigs/toppers, go out bald/with bald spots, or wear scarfs/turbans if that makes you feel amazing.
There is one more thing I wish to say. Dealing with hair loss, for me, is also dealing with the rest of my mental and physical health. Something I have been lacking now that the gyms are closed, and I am home most of the time, but it is very important.
In conclusion, please remember that there is no one way of dealing with hair loss. There is no right or wrong. There is only the way that works for you and the way that makes you feel most comfortable in this journey. I believe that you can do this and I hope you believe it too. Look at yourself in the mirror today, think of all the amazing people in the hair loss community (including YOU) and be proud. Proud of yourself, proud of your journey and proud of your hair loss, because it is nothing you should be ashamed of.
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alopeciangirlboss/
- E-mail me for questions at alopeciangirlboss@gmail.com
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