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Telling people about your hair loss is totally up to you! It can be a scary thing and you might not know how to tell someone. In this post, I am going to write about my approach to talking about my alopecia and some insights into the thoughts of my fellow starting professionals (=classmates)! Please remember, there is no perfect way and that it is important to find a way that fits you best!
New school – the picture for administration
In June 2020, I graduated from International Business at MBO level 4 (post-secondary vocational education). I decided that I wanted to continue studying International Business and so I applied for IB at HBO (bachelor’s degree). I got in and I had to send in a picture for administration, not a big deal, right? Well, it turned out to be, at least for me. I really thought I was ready to send in a bald picture, after all, I go out without my wig plenty of times. However, it had more impact than I thought. I kept thinking what if people see that picture before meeting me? Would they think I am sick? Would they judge me? Would they think I am the weird kid? Those feelings honestly surprised me, and I felt horrible.
I felt horrible, because I thought I would not need to deal with these alopecia feelings anymore (it is and will always be an ongoing journey), but also because I needed that picture to go away. That is when I decided to change it to a picture with a wig. This did not feel like a step back, but rather the step that fitted me at that time in my alopecia journey.
However, as weird as it may sound, I do prefer to tell everyone as soon as possible about my alopecia. I love writing for this blog, so it would come up anyway, as well as the fact that there are a lot of bald pictures on my private Instagram account!
Telling about my alopecia – the introduction week
We always have an introduction week in the Netherlands. This is a week, where all new students get an opportunity to get to know each other! Sadly, mine was online, due to COVID-19. This means that we had Microsoft Teams meetings together where we did activities.
During the introduction week, I asked my teacher if it was okay to take a few minutes to explain to my new class about my alopecia. I send her this message: Hi (name I wish to keep anonymous), if you don't mind, I would like to share something with the group when we all get back to the video call. Would you mind giving me the opportunity to do so?
Of course she said that it was fine and so I told everyone that I have alopecia. Please bear with me, as I explain what I said in a later paragraph! As mentioned before, we had to execute certain activities within groups. One of the activities was to take a picture of something in your room that describes who you are. Last year, I participated in an alopecia photobook project and so, I took a picture of a page where I was bald!
I explained that I took that picture as losing my hair made me stronger as a person and it helped me to become myself. Additionally, I am able to meet lots of amazing people around the world and I am very grateful for that. My group all responded very kind!
Back to the reason why I postponed telling you about what exactly I said to my class. I had to change classes…twice!
Telling about my alopecia – changing classes
Due to some circumstances regarding my teacher, I went to a different class and told them all over again! Then, there was one class too many…which was my class, and I had to change, again! By then, I already memorised what I wanted to say haha!
As mentioned before, we primarily had online classes, however, we did go to the physical location once a week. This means, that the third time talking about my alopecia was in real life! For some reason, it made things slightly more nerve-wracking!
Firstly, I went to my new teacher (/mentor) and asked her if it was okay to make an announcement to the new class. She said it was absolutely fine!
As I and a few others were new to this class, we started off with an “getting to know each other” assignment, which was actually also to show a picture that describes yourself. This time, I showed a picture of myself bald, standing in front of a huge, printed picture during the alopecia exhibition in the beginning of 2020. The group also reacted lovely.
Telling about my alopecia – “the talk”
After we finished the assignment, I decided to tell the rest. I asked my teacher if it was okay to do the announcement, stood up and walked in front of the class.
I don’t exactly remember what I said, but I think it was along the lines of “Hello everyone, I would like to tell all of you something and I am aware that this is a bit random. I would like all of you to know that I have a hair condition called alopecia since I was 14. This causes my hair to fall out. I am therefore bald, and I wear wigs! However, I also often switch between going out bald and wearing a wig. I am not sick; it only causes hair loss and for me it really is no elephant in the room. I often make jokes about it myself, so I do not want it to be a serious subject. I only wanted to let you know, so that you know why I don’t have hair.”
Let me tell you guys…they were all incredibly supportive! I was nervous for no reason. I understand that not everyone has such a supportive environment and that saddens me, but I found it important to share this experience with all of you.
We had an assignment a week afterwards where we had to give each other compliments and I received complements saying:
- I think it’s great that you opened up in front of a new group last week
- Beautiful the way you are
- I love your confidence
I am very grateful for that.
What did my fellow Starting Professionals think?
I asked a few fellow Starting Professionals from my different classes to write down their initial thoughts when I told them my alopecia! They can be seen in the slide show below:
Conclusion + tips!
So, what did I learn from this? I learned that opening up, when you are ready, can be a good thing! I know not everyone will be kind, but I am so glad I told everyone! I feel really comfortable going to school / online meetings without hair and I am very grateful for my supportive fellow Starting Professionals!
It was also very insightful to read what they were thinking. For me it is understandable that some find it strange at first, as I am telling them out of nowhere and they were not expecting it. So, I believe it is important to remember to give your environment a bit of time to get used to it, as it is still quite an unknown condition. However, as you could read, after knowing more about it, it also became normal to them!
Remember! Only open up when you feel ready to do so! Also, explain to your classmates what you are comfortable with and with what you are not. It is also unknown territory for them, and it is difficult to anticipate what we are okay with. So, by communicating, the strange or awkward stage will (hopefully) go away . My fellow Starting Professionals know that I love joking about my alopecia and that it is the approach I am most comfortable with.
This is how we will break the taboo of hair loss everyone! We got this and I am so proud of all of you, in whatever stage of your alopecia journey you are.
- Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alopeciangirlboss/
- E-mail me for questions at alopeciangirlboss@gmail.com
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